“Yellow?”

“It’s HELLO, not YELLOW. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“You can tell me all you want but I’ll still say it”

“You can’t. It’s stupid! How would you feel if I said GUY instead of BYE?”

“ I’d feel… embarrassed that you couldn’t come up with anything better than that”

“Stop it. It’s HELLO”

“You’re just jealous because I’m special and say special things”

“That YELLOW is not special, it’s stupid!”

“You’re stupid. I’m special”

“Whatever”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“That’s supposed to mean you’re too stubborn to admit how stupid you are”

“I am not stupid”

“Whatever”

“Again? I am going to take that WHATEVER and turn it into something else and shove it right up your candy a…”

“You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“It’s cheating!”

“It’s not cheating”

“Yes, it is. You can’t turn my WHATEVER into something else”

“Sure I can. I just did. I turned it into a large, thick stick and I’m going to shove it right up your…”

“I can’t believe you’re cheating”

“What cheating? There are no rules for stupid conversations”

“Aha! So you admit that you’re stupid!”

“No, I said the conversation is stupid”

“Well, yeah. But you are involved in the conversation and you add more stupid things to the stupid conversation”

“No. The conversation is STUPID because YOU keep saying STUPID things, whereas I say SPECIAL things”

“Oh, I get it! So SPECIAL is a synonym for STUPID”

“No. SPECIAL is a synonym for WONDERFUL, which I am”

“Then what is STUPID synonym for?”

“STUPID is synonym for YOU”

“So when I say STUPID, I’m really saying YOU. Like, *Stupid are stupid*? No, wait a second. That would mean *You are you*, and although I know you are stupid, it’s not quite what I want to say. So…”

“What?”

“I don’t know. I’m lost”

“Ok, then. Before I lose myself in your stupidity, was there a point to this call?”

“What?”

“STUPID called me. What do STUPID want?”

“Oh! I just… wait, shouldn’t it be *what does stupid want*?”

“No, because we said STUPID is a synonym for YOU, and YOU DO, see?”

“OK, I see STUPID’s point. What did STUPID ask again?”

“THAT was stupid. Anyway,  what was the aim of this call?”

“Oh, right! My birthday is coming up and I just wanted to invite you”

“STUPID”

“Hey! What did I say now?”

“No: ‘Invite STUPID’ (invite you)”

“Oh, right. What do STUPID say?”

“When is this thing?”

“Next Saturday, seven o’clock, my place”

“OK. See STUPID there”

“Bye, Draco”

“Bye, Blaise”