It was now 7 am and Natalie was still in the delivery room. My head longed for a coffee, so I got up and
painfully walked the two steps that involved going to the drinks dispensor. Zac was sitting on a red plastic chair, staring
at the floor, as white as a sheet.
Why is he so nervous? It's Taylor's wife that's giving birth, not his. Why does he always make such
a fuss about everything. I mean, this is really the kind of boy who would just make a storm in a tea cup, really! He's always
stressing about EVERYTHING. He doesn't let anything go. Things just can't be simple with him. Everything has to be perfect,
in its place, at the perfect time. I mean, I'm supposed to be the obssessive one, right? I'm scorpio. I can't believe he's
stealing my star sign's qualities. Do you believe this guy? How dare him?. This just...
"Hello, dolly" I muttered as a sexy nurse walked past me. Wow, those uniforms are hot. I mean smoking
hot. Short, pure, angelical.... God bless whoever the hell decided nurses' uniforms should be t-shirt long. Now that's a good
item of clothes, wouldn't you agree? Think about it. It's just so right. You're in hospital, sick out of yourt mind. All you
want is to stay in bed and not move whatsoever. And then, a sexy nurse walks in and decides it's time for you to have a bath.
And it's not like you have to do anything. Oh, no. She'll do it for you. Absolu...
"Ike, pass me a magazine, will you?" Zac asked, still looking like a mummie.
I handed him an issue of "Us Weekly". He just passed one page after the other, not really looking at anything.
He was just trying to kill tme.
"Hey, Ike?" he said softly, looking at me with that 'I need your advice' look on his face.
Oh, crap. What does he want now? Can't you see that I'm busy, Zac?. I was just dreaming about some sexy
nurse giving me a sponge bath and you to interrupted me. And now you want to talk. Come on, shoot. what do you want to talk
about? Life? Death? Independency? I'm only willing to talk about hot chicks in a white apron and a sponge.
"Do you think I'll ever have a baby?" he asked, kind of drepressed.
Shit! I knew it. This isn't gonna be a 'yes/no' answer. It's gonna be a long brother to brother, man
to man talk. Damn! I should've brought my cigarrettes.
I cleared my throat, as if that would give me enough time to think of something clever to say.
"I don't think you will ever have a baby" I started.
"WHAT!" he snaped"What kind of jerk would say that?"
"Let me finish" I replied "I mean that it is impossible for you to have a child, providing that you are
a male. However, I believe that you will have offspring"
Is that what he wanted to hear?
"Offspring? I just want to have one child wih somebody I love and who loves me back. Will that
ever happen?"
Gimme a break here! Taylor is so much better at this 'deep talks' than me. Geez, what did I do? Do I
have to knock a girl up to be left alone? Oh, wait a second, that would imply having sex, which I don't since all the girls
find me goofy and actually say it. If they didn't say it, fine. But that's just such a turn-off.
"Ike?"
Oh! Sorry, I was watching court tv. Do you copy? do you copy? of course we copy, twenty-four
hours a day, in colour!
"IKE!" Zac snapped his fingers in front of my eyes.
"Sorry. I was just thinking about what you said" Right! "Mmm. I guess... eh... well...you know?"
I wasn't getting anywhere and Zac was looking at me intently."Ummmm... sure! Of course you will! You love Kate, right?"
I stood up thinking the conversation was over, but my little brother started sobbing.
What now?
"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to seem sympathetic.
"Um... she broke up with me?" he confessed, eyes full of tears.
Fuck! Way to go, Ike! Now you have to comfort him. I so desperately need a cigarrette.
I opened my mouth to talk. I had to say something. And then, I was saved by the bell. Taylor came
running out of the delivery room.
"It's a girl! It's a girl!"he announced.
Zac jumped out of his seat and hurried to hug Taylor.
"I'm so happy for you!" he said.
I gave Tay a thumb-up from a distance. I'm not exactly emotional or anything. Not like Zac.
I wonder if he's gay? He cries a lot, complains a lot, criticises a lot, dresses pretty well, eats healthy
food, is wondering whether he'll fall in love... is he gay? Really, is he gay? If he is, why didn't I notice before? If he
isn't, why am I wondering? But if he is, how could I not see that? But if he isn't, what am I seeing? But if he is...
"Earth to you! Move out of my way!" a cranky old lady in a wheel chair snapped.
"Sorry" I muttered.
"Whatever, blondie" she replied.
Did she just call me 'blondie'? Do I look like a stupid blonde? No, I no I don't. That old bitch! I
am so gonna get her ass!
"Excuse me" sexy nurse said. I moved in silence "Thank you"
I so wanna get that ass.
"You can see them, now" an extremely foxy nurse told me and Zac.
He had finally stopped talking about him and his disgraces. Finally. He can be soooo dull at times.
I know he's worried and broken-hearted, but does he have to talk so much? You don't see me rumbling about my lack of sexual
activity... not in public. I like to think to myself. It's better than just letting people know that you're miserable. People
laugh at you, you know? Almost as loud as I laughed when I saw Taylor's newly born daughter dressed like a baby prostitute.
Who bought her that bright pink outfit.... ahg! She looks so horrible!
"Hey, Ike, what do you think?" Natalie asked, showing me her baby.
"Beautiful" I lied. I couldn't just tell the woman her baby looks awful. I made that mistake with Ezra and
she didn't talk to me for a month! A month? Mmm... now that I think about it...
"Hey, congratulations, she's gorgeus" Zac said. He seemed genuine.
I saw a tear fall from his eye. He quickly whiped it off with his hand, before anyone saw it. I almost felt
sorry for him. But then again, he is such a fag. Really! I think he's gay, but if he isn't, why do I think he is? But
if he is, why won't he come out? But if he isn't, why do I think he is? But if he is, why won't he come out? But if he isn't,
why do I think he is? But if he is, why won't he come out?
"Penelope" I suddenly heard Natalie say.
"What?" I asked. I wasn't sure what they were talking about.
"Penelope Hanson" Natalie repeated "That's her name"
"Why Penelope?" Zac asked, confused "Because of 'Penny and me'?"
Natalie shook her head, smiling.
"Ike game me the idea" she said, looking knowingly at me.
"Me?" i couldn't believe it. "How did I give you that idea"
"Penelope Popplewell" she said "It's perfectly simple"
